I have learned in my two plus months hiatus from work and staying home taking care of the kids and their Mother (in bed, pregnant with our third) that my home has become a House of Pain. When I was working home was a place I could rest, relax, and recover. As a "Dad Homemaker" I have found that the one time haven of hope has become my work place. The to do list today is the same one I will have tomorrow and the same I had yesterday, there is no satisfaction of project completion with this job. At this new place of work no project is complete, the laundry continues, the dishes ongoing, straightening things up to infinity and beyond. So, where can I go to rest, relax, and recover? When I worked I often wondered why my wife would say at times, "I have got to just get out of here!", now I know, she wants some time away from her work place! Da. Although good at identifying the problem, I have yet to arrive at the solution. I found myself this morning thinking, "I just have to get out of here" so I went to the Mall, let the kids play at the indoor playground, lunch, then went to the library and let them play on the computer. Not sure this is the solution I was looking for but I did get a much needed break from playing trains or baby doll and I think they actually learned something at the library.
If you have a solution your wife does to recover from her work, I would love to hear about it, or if you have any advice, let me know.
Remember, be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, Be a RED FOX FATHER.
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...a place of work...well said. It's so easy to become oblivious to how our wives can feel trapped when we are looking to decompress when we arrive home after work. Something I often see is that I have a much better "ability" (for lack of a better word) to actually plan an "outting" or event outside of the home for myself and with friends. Maybe my wife doesn't feel like she can allow herself to plan an event like this. I have found that if I pro-actively get the ball rolling for her to plan some time away that she will do it. All I have to do is say, "Why don't you plan to get together with your girl friends one night next week and I'll take the kids", or offer to take the kids on a Saturday morning so she can have some personal time (and doing this allows me to continue my own personal outtings without getting stone walled :-)). Also, although I know I do not do this anywhere near enough, when I get home I suggest that I take over and she go run a bath and have one hour to herself and I relieve her from the kids. As I type this I feel somewhat like a fraud as I do not consistently live by my words I have written, but I will try better today.
ReplyDeleteNice work. I am sure you get some serious points for the handoff after work.
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