Billy Rae Cyrus from Achey Braky Heart comes to mind, John Marr Karr, confessed to killing JonBenet Ramsey, that was his 15 minutes, James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces, had his; Oprah not amused. My personal list goes on, remember Steve Bartman, the Cubs fan that interfered with a foul ball in the World Series dashing the Cubs hopes, Monica Lewinsky, ugh, to reach back even further, Joey Buttafuoco, and John Bobbit.
You might have been lucky enough to not have had your 15 minutes yet, but for me I remember what I call my fifteen minutes of fame. I think that I blew it, completely wasted. I was about 12 years old and my church group drove up from Tallahassee, Florida to Atlanta to watch a Braves game in Fulton County Stadium. It was a beautiful summer day and the Braves were getting killed. I remember the stadium was packed that day and I was bored so I single handily started the wave. It went around 8 times, the Braves rallied and ended up winning the game. Ok, the last part, pure embellishment but it really jazzes the story up a bit. Nonetheless, that day I led 50,000 people to happiness, all eyes were on me, it was my 15 minutes of fame. Unfortunately, I later realized that I wasted my 15 minutes on a baseball game starting the wave. Had I known that I only had 15 minutes, I assure you that day, I would have opted for higher quality 15 minutes.
I once worked with a man that sat the bench for 5 NBA basketball games, remembered it like it was yesterday. He recanted how he was called up, warmed up with the “pros” (he was one at that point), and then watched 5 games from the bench, but never played…15 minutes. I also worked with a man that was drafted by the New England Patriots in 1984. He caught 11 passes in the NFL and spent a year or two injured, never returned. He knew each catch in detail. You should have seen his face when I asked him about it…15 minutes.
Not long ago my kids were at the end of my last nerve and tickling it feverishly. It wasn’t anything big that they were doing, it was more like a mosquito constantly buzzing around me. Not bad until you consider that mosquitoes are annoying little beasts, many of them bloodsuckers, also carry diseases like malaria, Lyme disease, hepatitis and all sorts of other problems, it was kind of like that, little mosquitoes. I know what you are thinking, “not from the Red Fox Father”, I hear ya, the whole be intentional, engaged, and interactive thing but hey, we are all human and I didn’t want to be engaged at this point, I needed some time.
Anyway, the kids were bothering me and I needed a break so I took a time out and totally rationalized it by comparing my dad techniques to all the people that I know that work too much and don’t spend quality time with their kids, it didn’t work. You see I have a little problem, I created this blog that makes me always attempt to think of things in a different way. So I did. I figure that my kids will live with me for 22 years (maybe) and I will live to be 85 years old (maybe) this is 25% of my life…about 15 minutes out of an hour. This is all you get, 2 innings of a baseball game, 6 outs. Heck, you are not even sure that you will get up to bat in 2 innings and if you are batting a respectable 300, chances are if you do get an at bat, you won’t get on base. Fifteen minutes that is all we have to build confidence, give life instruction, demonstrate wisdom, don‘t blow it starting the wave at a baseball game, don't waste it, 15 minutes, opt for a high quality 15 minutes.
Anybody can be great for 15 minutes, just ask Billy Rae, go be a great Dad, it only takes 15 minutes.
Be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, be a Red Fox Father.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
Prior to reading please watch this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumNAY
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he was telling me how God is to blame for a bad thing that happened in his life. I tried to relay that sometimes things just happen, people make bad decisions, and that life is tough, God is not always to blame. I got nowhere so I decided to concede that God is truly to blame, if he would concede that God is all powerful and all knowing.
With his permission I would like to tell you his story. My friends name is Alan. Alan is about my age, early forties, late thirties, he is married with two children, a daughter 6, and a son who is 4. His beautiful wife was pregnant with their third child when this story takes place. By all measures you would consider Alan successful. He has a good career whereby not only does he make a good living, he also has been promoted to place of prominence, he has over 600 employees in his employ.
Early on a cool November morning Alan was having to face a decision. His wife was struggling with the pregnancy and had to be hospitalized. The Doctor had said that when Alan's wife was going to be released, she would be bedridden for at least 6 months. Alan had a decision, quit his career and stay home to take care of his wife and kids or hire a nanny. Well surely all of us would agree, the best course of action would be to simply hire a nanny and not quit what it took Alan 15 years to create, a great career. So Alan went about his due diligence, interviews, references, background checks, drug tests, you know the usual when hiring for such an important role as nanny. Alan found the perfect fit, responsible, mature, and experienced nanny, and back to work Alan went knowing everything at home was taken care of.
Then it happened; the worse. The nanny was driving the kids to school one day when a truck t-boned the mini van. The van flipped numerous times and settled in the median, bent metal, broken glass, bodies strewn. Alan's life flipped over too. The daughter didn't survive the accident, dead at the age of 6, the 4 year old son, he wouldn’t being playing baseball that night, or ever again, paralyzed from the neck down. A couple months later the third baby was born but it wasn't the same. Alan harbored bitterness to the baby because he felt as if his wife hadn't been sick because of the pregnancy none of this would have happened. Oh yeah, Alan's wife, she just couldn't handle it, through it all she had to be committed to protect herself, from herself. This is when I get a call from Alan, "why God, why", he says, "Why didn't God intervene, where was he?"
Where was He indeed?
Consider this alternate story if you will.
With his permission I would like to tell you the story of a friend of mine named Alan. Alan is about my age, early forties, late thirties, he is married with two children, a daughter 6, and a son who is 4. His beautiful wife was pregnant with their third child when this story takes place. By all measures you would consider Alan successful. He has a good career whereby not only does he make a good living, he also has been promoted to place of prominence whereby he has over 600 employees in his employ.
Early on a cool November morning Alan was having to face a decision. His wife was struggling with the pregnancy and had to be hospitalized. The Doctor had said that when Alan's wife was going to be released, she would be bedridden for at least 6 months. Alan had a decision, quit his career and stay home to take care of his wife and kids or hire a nanny. Well surely all of us would agree, the best course of action would be to simply hire a nanny, or would it?
But then it happened, the worse, Alan was laid off from his career, devastating. The economy was the worse Alan had ever seen it in his lifetime and his particular industry was going belly up. This is when I get a call from Alan, "why God, why", he says, "Why didn't God intervene, where was he?"
Where was He indeed?
Alan never hired the nanny, the car accident never happened, the daughter did not die, the boy, still playing baseball, and his wife is fine, but Alan didn’t know what didn’t happen, he never knew what “would be”, he only knows what he thinks “should be“.
Alan, like us, was apparently too focused on what “should be” and all powerful, all knowing God knows what “would be”. Alan should have been able to keep his career, but God knew there was more at stake. I would presume that what “would be” is not ever dependent on what we think “should be“, and since God is all powerful, all knowing maybe, just maybe God did intervene when Alan got laid off, because the “would be” was far more worse than what is.
With apologies to A Few Good Men and God, imagine God, played by Jack Nicholson, Alan, the attorney play by Tom Cruise.
Alan : Did you order the lay off?
God: I did what I had to do
Alan: Did you order the lay off?
God: Alan, you want answers.
Alan: I think I am entitled.
God: You want answers!
Alan: I want the truth!
God: You can’t handle the truth! Son we live in a world where we have walls and those walls have to be guarded, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom, you weep for your job loss and you direct anger and blame at me, you have that luxury, you have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that your job loss while tragic, saved you a much greater loss. My action while incomprehensible to you saves you a great pain. You don’t want the truth because if I revealed how close you were to greater loss, you would live your life, paralyzed by fear forever. Son, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall and I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to a man that rises and sleeps under the very blanket of free will and salvation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it, I would rather you just say thank you and went on your way.
Alan: Did you order the lay off?
God : Your absolutely right I did.
Come on, be honest, a lot of us blame God for something, we all do, after all, he is all knowing all powerful. But maybe, just maybe, the bad thing that you blame God for, is the very thing He did or allowed to happen to you to save you from what He knows “would be”. Just because we think something should be doesn’t mean it would be and should we possibly change the blame we have for God and simply say “thank-you” and go on about our way?
Could it be that when things seem to be farthest from what we believe should be, is when God is most involved preventing the devastation that would be?
Be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, be a Red Fox Father.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumNAY
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he was telling me how God is to blame for a bad thing that happened in his life. I tried to relay that sometimes things just happen, people make bad decisions, and that life is tough, God is not always to blame. I got nowhere so I decided to concede that God is truly to blame, if he would concede that God is all powerful and all knowing.
With his permission I would like to tell you his story. My friends name is Alan. Alan is about my age, early forties, late thirties, he is married with two children, a daughter 6, and a son who is 4. His beautiful wife was pregnant with their third child when this story takes place. By all measures you would consider Alan successful. He has a good career whereby not only does he make a good living, he also has been promoted to place of prominence, he has over 600 employees in his employ.
Early on a cool November morning Alan was having to face a decision. His wife was struggling with the pregnancy and had to be hospitalized. The Doctor had said that when Alan's wife was going to be released, she would be bedridden for at least 6 months. Alan had a decision, quit his career and stay home to take care of his wife and kids or hire a nanny. Well surely all of us would agree, the best course of action would be to simply hire a nanny and not quit what it took Alan 15 years to create, a great career. So Alan went about his due diligence, interviews, references, background checks, drug tests, you know the usual when hiring for such an important role as nanny. Alan found the perfect fit, responsible, mature, and experienced nanny, and back to work Alan went knowing everything at home was taken care of.
Then it happened; the worse. The nanny was driving the kids to school one day when a truck t-boned the mini van. The van flipped numerous times and settled in the median, bent metal, broken glass, bodies strewn. Alan's life flipped over too. The daughter didn't survive the accident, dead at the age of 6, the 4 year old son, he wouldn’t being playing baseball that night, or ever again, paralyzed from the neck down. A couple months later the third baby was born but it wasn't the same. Alan harbored bitterness to the baby because he felt as if his wife hadn't been sick because of the pregnancy none of this would have happened. Oh yeah, Alan's wife, she just couldn't handle it, through it all she had to be committed to protect herself, from herself. This is when I get a call from Alan, "why God, why", he says, "Why didn't God intervene, where was he?"
Where was He indeed?
Consider this alternate story if you will.
With his permission I would like to tell you the story of a friend of mine named Alan. Alan is about my age, early forties, late thirties, he is married with two children, a daughter 6, and a son who is 4. His beautiful wife was pregnant with their third child when this story takes place. By all measures you would consider Alan successful. He has a good career whereby not only does he make a good living, he also has been promoted to place of prominence whereby he has over 600 employees in his employ.
Early on a cool November morning Alan was having to face a decision. His wife was struggling with the pregnancy and had to be hospitalized. The Doctor had said that when Alan's wife was going to be released, she would be bedridden for at least 6 months. Alan had a decision, quit his career and stay home to take care of his wife and kids or hire a nanny. Well surely all of us would agree, the best course of action would be to simply hire a nanny, or would it?
But then it happened, the worse, Alan was laid off from his career, devastating. The economy was the worse Alan had ever seen it in his lifetime and his particular industry was going belly up. This is when I get a call from Alan, "why God, why", he says, "Why didn't God intervene, where was he?"
Where was He indeed?
Alan never hired the nanny, the car accident never happened, the daughter did not die, the boy, still playing baseball, and his wife is fine, but Alan didn’t know what didn’t happen, he never knew what “would be”, he only knows what he thinks “should be“.
Alan, like us, was apparently too focused on what “should be” and all powerful, all knowing God knows what “would be”. Alan should have been able to keep his career, but God knew there was more at stake. I would presume that what “would be” is not ever dependent on what we think “should be“, and since God is all powerful, all knowing maybe, just maybe God did intervene when Alan got laid off, because the “would be” was far more worse than what is.
With apologies to A Few Good Men and God, imagine God, played by Jack Nicholson, Alan, the attorney play by Tom Cruise.
Alan : Did you order the lay off?
God: I did what I had to do
Alan: Did you order the lay off?
God: Alan, you want answers.
Alan: I think I am entitled.
God: You want answers!
Alan: I want the truth!
God: You can’t handle the truth! Son we live in a world where we have walls and those walls have to be guarded, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom, you weep for your job loss and you direct anger and blame at me, you have that luxury, you have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that your job loss while tragic, saved you a much greater loss. My action while incomprehensible to you saves you a great pain. You don’t want the truth because if I revealed how close you were to greater loss, you would live your life, paralyzed by fear forever. Son, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall and I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to a man that rises and sleeps under the very blanket of free will and salvation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it, I would rather you just say thank you and went on your way.
Alan: Did you order the lay off?
God : Your absolutely right I did.
Come on, be honest, a lot of us blame God for something, we all do, after all, he is all knowing all powerful. But maybe, just maybe, the bad thing that you blame God for, is the very thing He did or allowed to happen to you to save you from what He knows “would be”. Just because we think something should be doesn’t mean it would be and should we possibly change the blame we have for God and simply say “thank-you” and go on about our way?
Could it be that when things seem to be farthest from what we believe should be, is when God is most involved preventing the devastation that would be?
Be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, be a Red Fox Father.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
TICKETMASTER
I remember a job whereby we got free tickets to just about every event brought to the Atlanta area. This was the year I attended numerous plays including Phantom, Rent (no good), Stomp, and Tap Dogs. We also got to go to the MLB All-star Game, the Home Run Derby, and yes the Superbowl and World Series. Among these things, I also got to go to countless MLB baseball games, NFL games, monster truck shows, the circus, and other events. There was nothing quite as nice as the owner of the business giving me a stack of tickets and allowing me to distribute them as I saw fit. Even though I signed every paycheck at that particular business, when I got those tickets I was more important. I was in fact the Ticketmaster, because there is nothing quite as nice as a free ticket. Heck, the President of the United States didn’t hold as much power as I had back then. Like most good things, they come to an end…until I had children.
I had a friend ask me the other day how I was teaching my 6 year old daughter about money. My answer, I wasn’t. Not only was I not, I had not even considered it. She would beg for stuff in a store and I would say “yea” or “nay”. I never thought to use her greed to actually teach her something, the whole concept fascinates me. Over the next couple of days, I noticed when my daughter asked for toys, dining out, entertainment, etc, I decided my friend was right, it was time to teach her about money. It was then I realized that my wife could use the same education, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Of course the allowance was the first discussion that we embarked on, not for the wife, for the children, and I have to tell you, I am not real excited about giving money away for just living. This reminds me too much of welfare and my hope is my children one day understand that people will “reap what they sow”. Now I know, that doesn’t really apply anymore in today’s society, but at least I can make it apply in my home. Nonetheless, since the whole welfare for children thing doesn’t excite me, my wife came up with the following solution.
The Ticketmaster. She created a system whereby the children can earn tickets (pictured on the right), the power just makes me shiver all over again. Each Sunday each child gets 10 tickets for the week. Behavior above the call of duty can earn tickets and poor behavior requires a ticket to be paid back. Then on the next Sunday we cash out each ticket for 25 cents and issue another 10 tickets. A couple of rules exist; the children are not allowed to ask for a ticket, this can actually cost them a ticket, and at the end of each week a portion of their earnings must be saved and a portion given away. This is our own personal beliefs, feel free to modify as to suit you. At the end of each week the children can do whatever they want with the leftover money. The good part about this is my wife and I don’t feel guilty at this point about the junk they buy. On a side note, the first week my daughter gave me her money back as she knows I am currently unemployed, I think it is working.
The whole goal for Ticketmaster is to teach our children that doing good is standard, being great earns, and acting poorly costs. I will tell you when things are getting out of hand, I just mention revoking a ticket and a warm blanket of calm obedience ensues. I have also noticed that when a child goes over the top with considerate good behavior the ticket is a powerful tool. Instant reward, instant punishment, I really think that whoever invented the spanking needs to take a look at this, apparently greed is substantially more powerful than pain, knowing myself, I should have known this already. A word of caution, it took my children a good week and a half before they completely understood the concept and I think the rewards of money management have not yet been attained but I can see the wheels spinning. I saw my daughter stand in Target and actually begin to look at the prices and the cost versus benefit concept, I wish the wife would do this. It is fun when a 6 year old has to weigh a Hannah Montana toy versus Polly Pockets, oh the quandary. Bottom line, I can highly recommend Ticketmaster to teach children how the world used to work, when a hard days work was the criteria for earning. Also, an excellent tool to begin understanding saving, giving, and spending wisely. Who knows, maybe I will start charging a ticket handling fee! Anyway I genuinely feel like I am making progress with the children on the whole money earning/management concept…now the wife.
Be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, be a Red Fox Father.
PS if anybody has an idea to teach children how the real world works, you know, being at the right place at the right time or knowing the right people; let me know.
I had a friend ask me the other day how I was teaching my 6 year old daughter about money. My answer, I wasn’t. Not only was I not, I had not even considered it. She would beg for stuff in a store and I would say “yea” or “nay”. I never thought to use her greed to actually teach her something, the whole concept fascinates me. Over the next couple of days, I noticed when my daughter asked for toys, dining out, entertainment, etc, I decided my friend was right, it was time to teach her about money. It was then I realized that my wife could use the same education, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Of course the allowance was the first discussion that we embarked on, not for the wife, for the children, and I have to tell you, I am not real excited about giving money away for just living. This reminds me too much of welfare and my hope is my children one day understand that people will “reap what they sow”. Now I know, that doesn’t really apply anymore in today’s society, but at least I can make it apply in my home. Nonetheless, since the whole welfare for children thing doesn’t excite me, my wife came up with the following solution.
The Ticketmaster. She created a system whereby the children can earn tickets (pictured on the right), the power just makes me shiver all over again. Each Sunday each child gets 10 tickets for the week. Behavior above the call of duty can earn tickets and poor behavior requires a ticket to be paid back. Then on the next Sunday we cash out each ticket for 25 cents and issue another 10 tickets. A couple of rules exist; the children are not allowed to ask for a ticket, this can actually cost them a ticket, and at the end of each week a portion of their earnings must be saved and a portion given away. This is our own personal beliefs, feel free to modify as to suit you. At the end of each week the children can do whatever they want with the leftover money. The good part about this is my wife and I don’t feel guilty at this point about the junk they buy. On a side note, the first week my daughter gave me her money back as she knows I am currently unemployed, I think it is working.
The whole goal for Ticketmaster is to teach our children that doing good is standard, being great earns, and acting poorly costs. I will tell you when things are getting out of hand, I just mention revoking a ticket and a warm blanket of calm obedience ensues. I have also noticed that when a child goes over the top with considerate good behavior the ticket is a powerful tool. Instant reward, instant punishment, I really think that whoever invented the spanking needs to take a look at this, apparently greed is substantially more powerful than pain, knowing myself, I should have known this already. A word of caution, it took my children a good week and a half before they completely understood the concept and I think the rewards of money management have not yet been attained but I can see the wheels spinning. I saw my daughter stand in Target and actually begin to look at the prices and the cost versus benefit concept, I wish the wife would do this. It is fun when a 6 year old has to weigh a Hannah Montana toy versus Polly Pockets, oh the quandary. Bottom line, I can highly recommend Ticketmaster to teach children how the world used to work, when a hard days work was the criteria for earning. Also, an excellent tool to begin understanding saving, giving, and spending wisely. Who knows, maybe I will start charging a ticket handling fee! Anyway I genuinely feel like I am making progress with the children on the whole money earning/management concept…now the wife.
Be intentional, be engaged, be interactive, be a Red Fox Father.
PS if anybody has an idea to teach children how the real world works, you know, being at the right place at the right time or knowing the right people; let me know.
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